I deliberated over writing this post for the longest time and then decided I wanted to write it after all. I am not sure if anyone even reads this blog any more anyway so it's more just as a place mark for myself than anyone else.
So, it's now 3 years and 3 months since I gave birth to my second surrogate baby. Time has flown and I still have no contact whatsoever with either him or his fathers. I have made peace with any upset and hurt about that a long time ago now.
However, I do want to talk about me. What's happened with me over the last few years and specifically surrogacy related. No, I've not had another baby. Nor have I've matched and have no plans to again either. But what I have been left with from this birth is a disability - that is directly attributable to the birth which is a very hard pill to swallow.
When you decide to be a surrogate, you never think bad things will happen. Sure you know they could but you weigh up the risks and decide to play the odds anyway. Unfortunately I 'lost', I went into labour a healthy woman and less than 24 hours later, my healtht world change and all for just a small sum of money and another immense sense of pride.
Now, this is not a pity me post, rather it is is a little nudge to anyone who has come across my blog and is looking either for, or to be, a surrogate. A reminder to be smart and go into a match eyes wide open to the possibility that bad things, and even the worst, do and can happen in the pursuit of surrogacy.
As a surrogate, I suppose you could say I drew the short-straw with the way my IPs dumped me and the trauma of the birth and beyond - I'm left with a literal, constant, reminder of what I've been left with out of our journey. However, even if a surrogate has a positive relationship with their current or former IP, if your life is left negatively changed forever, that's little consolation. So please, use me as an example of what can go wrong both with the relationship and with your own health and think long hard if it's really worth the risk. If the answer is no, don't continue. I wish I had properly appreciated the risks.
To finish on a happier note, despite the daily difficulties, I am doing well - my family and I moved to another country, I'm at university and will soon graduate and I'm thankful for my children and husband that bit more now because I would not have survived and thrived without them and my family. Please, don't feel sorry for me as I said before; just be smart and careful for me!
