Thursday 30 May 2013

A Bit of Background

Incase you're reading this as a newbie follower of mine, let me bring you up to speed with who I am and my history.

I'm a 33 year old, married mother of 3 who lives in the UK. I've been with my hubster for over 13 and a half years and married for almost 13 of those, yes I know you get less for murder and as sickening as it sounds, we are still just as much in love. We have 3 children together - a boy 8.5 years, a girl, 7 (tomorrow!) and another boy who is 5 years old.

I also have a surrogate baby, Oli, who was born via traditional surrogacy on 10th January 2013. He was born into the loving arms of his daddies who tried so hard for him over the years and finally had their dream realised. It was a long slog for us all and there were plenty of bumps in the road but all's well that ends well and he's happy and healthy, and of course I say very gorgeous too.

I've always wanted to be a surrogate for as long as I can remember and even before I had my own children, I knew that I wanted to help others have them too. It was after my own family was complete and my husband having had a vasectomy in 2007, that our baby making days ended and my surrogacy baby making days began.

I decided on traditional surrogacy because it felt easier, cheaper and simpler and with my BMI, I didn't think a clinic would accept me for treatment or even that any IPs would want to take any chances with so much money riding on a cycle and therefore would prefer more svelte surrogates over me. I also didn't have any issue with a baby being genetically half mine either, it's just an egg that I'm putting to good use, it was never going to be a baby created out of love for someone and I knew I would have no attachment to a traditional surrogate baby. I know that sounds strange to some out there but I've always said and believed that surrogacy is a calling, some can do it and some can't.

I've had 2 matches in total but met plenty of IPs and fellow surrogates along the way and made a lot of friends, and probably a couple of enemies too, but I've never felt more fulfilled than when I conceived, grew and birthed a baby for others.

So now I find myself about to embark on my next match and I suppose I should tell you how this has come about...

As I said, it's been a bit up and down with regards to my former IPs (FIPs) and it took me a while to process the thoughts and feelings that that brought and I wasn't even sure if I wanted to do another journey for a while there but I realised that it they who had a problem, it was them and not me and actually that I was pretty great at being a surrogate. I decided then that I refused to allow one bad journey (that wasn't all bad by the way) to deter me doing another and the search was on!

I was, as I've always been, open to GS and infact given all I went through to have my traditional surrogate baby (11 cycles, 8 on Clomid), I felt that this time around it seemed a more appealing option as it meant I wouldn't have to think about ovulation or timing insems and I believe that it's got to be easier in some way if a cycle fails if you're a GS because it's not you or your body that let you all down but that Mother Nature or Fate had other ideas - after all your lining is perfect, the eggs are perfect, the sperm is great quality and the embryos are top grade and it's all just right and you can't ask for or do any more than that, the rest is out of our hands. I like that idea of having it all taken out of my hands and the pressure taken off of me - well, to some extent anyway.

Anyway, so I have my own Facebook surrogacy group, it's a small one but I prefer quality over quantity anyway! Even for this seasoned surrogate, who has been around the small surrogacy message board block, I've met some new faces and made new friends on my board and you always look at all available IPs with  the view that they may potentially be your next match. It was infact my best surrogacy friend, R, who introduced me to my new couple. She met them on a different Facebook group and invited them over to mine and without delay started to sow the foundations on both sides, or so I'm led to believe! Talking me up to them and talking them up to me - quite the little matchmaker she was and I'm positive that they were a bit peeved to find she was already taken as she's pretty fantastic at what she does and a not such a bad person either! ;o)

Anyway, this couple and I started talking and I realised pretty quickly that I really liked them and felt a click. Cue lots of messaging between us as we talked through the nitty-gritty that you need to before taking things any further and with laughs and chit-chat thrown in too and it was them who suggested we meet and I of course said yes.

It wasn't more than a week or 2 before we first made contact that we then met up face to face. Naturally it was at my favourite coffee shop and I have to say I was incredibly nervous, considering I'm not new to this but I wanted it to go well because we had got on so well online that it would of been a shame to meet and have them (or me) running for the hills - which was always an option especially because I did take the hubster with me and he can have that effect on people with his humour!

They certainly know the way to this girl's heart and gave me a box of the most delicious and super cute homemade cupcakes waiting for me and I needn't of worried because immediately I felt at ease and I think they did too and an hour and a half of almost non-stop talking seemed to fly by.

When we left, I had a talk with hubster on the way home and he agreed that they seemed nice and he didn't have any reservations and with that I messaged them to tell them that I would love to work with them, if they would with me and then the dreaded wait for a response began........But, the IPs, they said YES!

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