I had a lovely 2 week holiday in Scotland, visiting my mum and didn't want to come home which is always what happens. It was just chilled and the kids had a blast. AF arrived to wave me off on the first day - I was glad she showed up but the timing could of been a bit better. It was fine as far as first post-partum periods go. It was also nice to come back from my holiday without any injections, my 6 week twice daily Clexane jabs finished whilst I was away and I also indulged in my first (and second, third and fourth!) alcoholic drink for the first time in 13 years whilst away too - see, a very good break away indeed!
My back behaved for the most part during my holiday but various other aches and pains that just will not go away continued. I have a painful and clicking elbow, a painful knee and both shoulders hurt every single morning. It seems to ease as the day goes on but little tweaks of pain remind me throughout the day. Must see the dr about that, and the bp review, but I pushed the latter back as I was away a week longer than first planned. Not had my 6 week check either and considering Fin is 10 weeks at the end of this week, I don't see any point so will skip that particular check-up.
I didn't end up attending the first court hearing, we didn't get back from Scotland until early hours on the Sunday and the Monday was a Bank Holiday Monday so I couldn't do anything to catch up on things I'd let slip so needed to stay at home Tuesday in the end to get caught up - not least getting my poor daughter's dental appointment sorted for her smashed mouth. The guys understood and I was sad but it simply wasn't do'able in the end. We'll catch up though very soon I'm sure.
Apparently by all accounts court went fine, we learnt Czech law has no bearing on the UK legal process regarding surrogacy so that was great news! However the magistrates, all 4 of them, have ordered a DNA test for me, my IF and my husband - it was one of the first things they said. I was surprised when hearing this from my IF because I had never heard of any surro or IP being required to provide this in all my years on the surrogacy circuit but I know it's a certainly something any surrogate or IP can be required to do. The court where the hearing was held has never done a surrogacy PO before so it seems perhaps they are just following the procedure to the letter, which is not a bad thing but just extra expense for my IFs.
Don't understand why my husband needs to provide proof he's not the father, so long as one of my IFs can prove they are. I think perhaps there was a misunderstanding by the judges or something because it's not logical but you don't argue with the court! Unfortunately they also stipulated that the testing needs to be done and in by mid May, which is not good timing for me because this week and next week I'm flat-out busy, with very little spare time. This testing has to be done by a court verified company and involves me attending a doctor's surgery along with photos to get verified also. All very official.
Feeling pretty stirred up about where I go next, do I do another journey or do I call it a day? I'm under no pressure at all either way, no screaming rush but it's what my head is processing more and more lately. It's hard because I don't want to put any expectation on my former IFs but at the same time, I do want at least a tentative answer as to what they would like in terms of a sibling and if so, what sort of time frame they are looking at. If they decide they don't want a sibling/use me again/not in a time frame that works for me then I'll maybe look at other potential IPs. Not saying I will match again, or I won't but it's an option maybe.
I've got 2 interviews for nursing courses, one in Scotland and one here in Bristol. Dependent on which one I get (or if I'm lucky enough to get an offer on both) then I'll have to factor that in when looking at where surrogacy features in all that. Always the planner, I have already worked out a plan for how it *could* pan out and work around studying. What I have come to realise though is that this time of my life is mine and whereas in the past perhaps I've put off my own ambitions in favour of helping others and making their dreams come true, not any longer - if it doesn't fit for me and my family, it's not happening, and I think I'm OK with finally being a little bit selfish now.
Oh and I've just started working, first time in almost 12 years I've held a job outside of the home so that's a huge adjustment but I'm very excited to be getting out into the adult world. LOL.
I'm continuing to lose weight, I'm just about to start some serious training for my 5K in July now that I'm safely past the 6 week waiting period and my back has settled down. Here was a pic from a couple of weeks ago, I may still look like a blimp to some but I've definitely lost weight and am feeling good about myself.
So life is moving at the manic pace it always did and I'm loving it for the most part. I won't lie and say that I don't question why I did surrogacy some days, when everything hurts and I'm emotional but I would never change a thing and if I'm looking at doing another journey then it can't be that bad, right?! Or maybe I'm just bonkers as one lovely lady recently suggested!
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