We've had a massive shock, yesterday I woke up to use the bathroom at 6am and was very surprised to see blood. Lots of blood. Red blood at that. Heart pounding, I had to think quick what I should do - in 4 pregnancies, never had this before and so was a bit confused who to call and where to go. I grabbed my maternity notes and first called my community midwife where the answerphone message which said they only with non-urgent matters during office hours. So, next I called the the on-call midwife, which was actually Labour & Delivery at the other hospital here in Bristol, where most pregnant ladies choose to go to and so they told me to call my own hospital's L&D. They said I was too early for them to see and to call the UK health helpline, who told me they would get my out-of-hours GP service to call me back and that Dr told me to contact my own GP surgery because they were soon closing for the night and so couldn't see me themselves. I had to wait a further hour until my surgery was open so I tried to keep calm and called my IPs as they have always said they want to everything, good or bad and they jumped straight in the car and raced to Bristol.
I listened in to baby for some reassurance, spoke with my best friend, R who helped to calm me down and was as reassuring as she always is although I know she's scared for me and baby but she always knows what to say when I need her most.
My GP offered to squeeze me in asap, I knew I'd need a referral to hospital so it was case of just getting that from them. My husband was fab, got the kids ready for school and took them and my IPs arrived to take me to the drs. We kept it light-hearted, laughing a bit, talking things through and agreeing to be positive unless we had cause to think otherwise but it was not how we wanted to see one another again of course. After a wait at the GPs, we walked out with a referral to the Early Pregnancy Unit. One part of that consultation worried me, the GP had tried very briefly to listen to the baby but it's still early and she didn't know where to look or press hard enough and couldn't find it.
At EPU, we were told we'd have to wait 2 hours for the next appt and so I told the receptionist that I'd been bleeding (and still was) since 6am and couldn't they see me sooner and she spoke with one of the midwife practitioners, who told me they couldn't see me sooner, I reminded her that I was 18 weeks odd and wasn't even sure they could see me as I knew their clinic only saw ladies up to 18 weeks. Her eyes popped out of her head when I told her I was over that and she said straight away that I would probably need to be seen upstairs, in the main scan/antenatal/fetal medicine unit but to sit and wait in the unit and see a dr there, who could make the decisions.
We sat around for what felt like hours and the dr then spoke to me, asked the usual questions and said that he would request a scan upstairs and shortly after, he came back and said that I would be scanned at 12pm.
Still bleeding, cramping and feeling very anxious by this point, we all headed up and waited for our appt. Finally we got called in and were super nervous by now, the moment of truth....
Straight away the tech showed us baby's heartbeat, phew, worst case scenario 1 crossed out. Baby looked absolutely amazing, the picture was so clear and those of us larger ladies know that that's very often not the case but this was crystal clear - we could see the bones of the feet and hands, the stomach, the heart, the complete profile. It was just fantastic, at one point baby looked at us face onwards and it was almost as if it was saying 'what's the problem? I'm fine in here!' The tech did some measurements and baby is growing perfectly for dates and appeared not to have any issue that would explain the bleeding. We almost got to see the gender early too and the tech was sweet and had a look (which she wasn't meant to do) but said that it was still a bit early and anyway, baby had a foot over the goods so we couldn't tell.
She did however find that my placenta is indeed low. And in light of the fact that there was nothing else that could account for the bleeding, that it was probably that that was the cause. She told us it would be checked at the 20 week scan, next Weds but if it was as thought, I'll be offered an extra scan to see its position around 32-34 weeks. With that, we were free to go. Felt a bit weird not to have any follow-up, no advice about the bleeding, no cervix check. Nothing. But baby was alive so all else could be thought about later.
We all breathed a huge sigh of relief, it had been a long and tense morning and we were all absolutely worn out from the stress.
Once home, I decided to call my lovely and very experienced community midwife for some reassurance and answers to the many questions we all had. I expected her, in her usual confident tone, to say 'oh it's fine. It's common and scary but fine' but she didn't. Her first words were 'ohh, that's not good...' Apparently, it seems like I have what will be graded as such, a Grade 3 (maybe even 4) placenta previa. Also known as major placenta previa. It's where the placenta implants in the lower segment of the uterus, instead of anywhere else. Nothing causes it, it's just one of those things - as my midwife said, it's just bad luck. Since it's situated so close to the cervix it (it can be a Grade 1 to 4 - the latter being the worst) bleeds when the uterus grows and stretches and slightly detaches from the uterine wall.
The plus side is the baby isn't bleeding, the baby isn't in danger from the position of the placenta BUT the bleeding can put the baby in danger in the sense that if I was to experience a huge bleed and they couldn't stop it, they would have no choice but to deliver the baby (at whatever stage) so they could remove the placenta to stop the bleeding. There's no other way in that dire case. The hope however is that whilst I should expect to bleed on and off, several times, over the course of the pregnancy, it wouldn't get to that emergency stage or if it did, not until baby was viable. There's no way of telling how it will go, no way of telling how many bleeds I may (or may not) experience, no way of telling how far this pregnancy will make it so it's just a case of hanging in there and taking it a week at a time - eeking closer and closer towards viability, which according to Google, best earliest odds, of an otherwise healthy baby, would be around 25 weeks. That's my current goal, if I have any control over anything, which of course none of us do but in my mind, if I get to 25 (which is still a potentially scary 6 weeks away), I will breathe a little sigh of relief.
My midwife said that from 21 weeks, if I experience anything worrisome, I can head straight to L&D, cutting out being given the run around like yesterday and that was good to hear. At least at L&D the drs, equipment, scan machine etc are all in one place.
I've been unable to think of anything else since yesterday, I keep randomly finding myself tearful and thinking about the what-ifs, like B (IF), I need hard facts to work with and there are few for this condition and so that adds to feeling out of control.
It seems very probable that I will have a c-section, this grade of placenta is highly unlikely to move enough for a vaginal birth and even if it does, the risk of heavy bleeding is quite high regardless. The risks of a massive bleed and the need for blood transfusion during birth is high, the risk of needing a hysterectomy is small but still a possibility. I'm petrified.
Worse still, it could be necessary for me to be admitted to hospital during the last 6 weeks of my pregnancy, as you are most at risk of a huge hemorrhage at that point and baby would need to be delivered asap - like emergency c-section, under general anaesthetic. I cannot be away from my own babies, I live and breathe them and the thought of that about kills me. I refuse to even entertain that happening at this point and will have to deal with it, if and when it happens. It does appear likely that this baby will come around 34-38 weeks though, from what I'm reading. Google says not to be on my own from now on, incase I need to get to hospital without delay and that also throws my potential plan to spend Christmas with my mum in Scotland out the window too but at least she is about 20 minutes from the nearest maternity facilities if I do decide to go. Again, will need to think about that closer to the time, when we've had our next scan and I can see how the bleeding situation is going to pan out.
I just feel like everything I thought would happen, everything I had planned for the pregnancy and delivery has just been yanked out of my hands. I'm at the mercy of Mother Nature. My poor IPs do not deserve this, why can't it be smooth sailing, haven't they worked hard enough to get this far? But, it is what it is. Although not common, this condition isn't always dire and doesn't always have a negative outcome and there's no reason we won't be in the positive and happy category and that's what we're trying to focus on for now. I'm still bleeding this morning, it appears (touch wood) to of slowed down a bit but it's still worrisome. I've decided to not freak every bathroom trip, it is blood, we know where it's coming from, we know that it will do its thing regardless of what we say or do and unless it's much much worse, we just have to stay calm and ignore it - so that's the plan. Which I do well with, until it all just comes back and I feel like I've been punched in the gut all over again (figuratively).
Looking much further forwards, which anyone who knows me knows I do a lot, this has thrown up questions about a sibling project or infact any more surrogate babies. I already knew my risk of complications (ironically of bleeding specifically) have increased due to the number of babies I've had already and my age, but now the risks increase again with placenta previa as it is likely to happen again and the risks increase if I have a c-section in many different ways too. Perhaps this pregnancy is nature's way of saying is enough is enough, (fingers crossed) 5 happy and healthy babies is more than enough for anyone to of been fortunate enough to bring into the world so maybe this is all I'm meant to have. Of course, that's dependent on so many things and something I can't even truly being to process at this point but it has crept into my mind since events of yesterday.
For now though, we concentrate on the here and now and deal with whatever it may bring. Please do say a prayer, or send some good thoughts, or whatever it is that you do in times of worry or crisis because we could really do with some right now. I'll be back next week to update on the scan because hopefully there will be nothing else to update about in the mean time.
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