Pang Of Regret?

I feel like I am walking through treacle most days and so breathless and tired,  which is not helped by the fact my children never seem to sleep and so neither can I.

A trip around the supermarket leaves me drained, I have to stop every aisle or so and find the energy to move on again. Walking my kids from the car to their classes and back leaves me feeling like I've run a mini-marathon.

Feeling like perhaps it wasn't such a smart idea to get pregnant so quickly after surrobaby 1 was born and that I'm now paying the price.

Yes it is another late night (currently 11:30pm) and I'm positive that is not helping my mood but pretty fed up currently and in the name of keeping things honest and real on my blogs, you unlucky readers get to listen to this mini-pity party.

And IPs, they try so hard to be sympathetic and 'get it' but how can they truly? They can veg of an evening, they can nap whenever they are able and wish to, they get to go to bed when they want and have an uninterrupted sleep, heck, they even get a lie-in if they desire - none of which are happening in my house. So forgive me if I'm a little resentful that I'm suffering sometimes 17 hours a day, (my kids do let me get some sleep), 7 days a week and my life is turned upside down, all the while doing something I will get nothing really out of and for others whose lives continue on as almost normal at the same time. Bit galling I am sure you can agree.

How many times can they ask me how I am, to hear me reply 'tired' every single time, without becoming a bit disinterested? Almost like it is just something I say, without true meaning. What I want to reply with is 'I am shattered, almost on my knees and not able to function properly tired. Do you understand how that feels?' but instead I settle for the 'I'm good, tired' staple answer instead.

OK, finally silence has descended over my household so I guess now I finally get to snatch a few hours rest - well inbetween the insomnia I always get when pregnant, appearance of heartburn, gnawing stomach pain and waking to pee almost every hour. Yay, lucky me.