Feel like I should post something here but what, since there's not much new to talk about?!
I am still waiting on my labour notes but apparently the Head of Midwifery has them and has requested a date for me to meet with the consultant. I'm happy about this because the list of questions I have is growing longer and longer and I'm impatient to get the answers. I've done so much reading these past few weeks and I do truly believe I just got very unlucky with all that happened and it could of happened to anyone - first pregnancy or sixth or anywhere in between. There's so many things that happened that upped my risk factor and most of those were out of my control but a sequence of events and remove them and there's no reason I couldn't of had a smooth delivery, just like my previous 4 for the most part.
Physically, I'm hurting. That sums it up. I am suffering bad back pain strangely, I never had it prior to this delivery and now it hurts all the time, I joke that the person who gave me their blood also gave me their backache because there's no other reason for it although I doubt having my legs heaved onto my chest for the best part of 2 hours helped matters of course. I think I'm ovulating currently, judging by my bodily signs. It's comforting and slightly depressing to think my body has adapted from pregnancy to back to normal so soon and of course if this is ovulation then that means AF can't be too far away and that is depressing - I've not missed her! But on the flip side, it's nice to know that despite all the trauma, my body is getting back to normal and fertility returning.
My blood results came back from my GP and my full blood count is almost back to normal and my iron stores are on the lower end of normal and this is without any iron supplements for the past 10 days so I guess I'm safe to continue not to take them and see how things go. I've been monitoring my BP and it seems pretty stable for the most part - a few times it's been spiked high but nothing regular so perhaps a combination of these meds and giving it some time for my body to calm itself post-delivery has done its job and when I have my post-partum check up in a week and a bit, hopefully I can get signed off taking the tablets and get the thumbs up to begin exercising because I've continued with the post-partum weight loss and now want to get active to give it a nudge onwards. I'm so close to weighing less than I have in 10 years so that's a huge motivation to move my behind!
Talking of getting active, I have entered for a 5k race. I am so pumped to do it, it's not only for a very good cause but my son is racing it with me - for moral support for me but also it's encouraging him to eat more healthily and get fitter so it's a win-win situation. I have a while to go so plenty of time to take things slowly and build up to the big day but I'm still apprehensive.
Last week I met up with my IFs and baby Finley, I was so excited that I could of burst, actually I was afraid I may burst...out crying....but held it together and it was fantastic. I was given a lovely gift of a photo book which contained pics of Fin and us all, it was very special to look at, definitely one for the memory box. Such a thoughtful gift. They are such good daddies and Finley is absolutely gorgeous and thriving and it made me feel very proud watching the 3 of them together. We had a great time catching up in person and I'm going to see them again next month for the preliminary court hearing for the Parental Order application. It's all moving swiftly and without complication which compared to my last experience, with my former IFs, is nice! I still speak to my IFs on a daily basis and they send me photos, it's great that we are still close and I love to see how Fin's changing so fast. I can't believe he's almost 5 weeks old already, it seems forever ago that he was in my tummy and we were eagerly awaiting his arrival! So much has happened generally, my life went back to being full-on within days and my daughter had a pretty serious accident and bashed her face this past Saturday and that's taken my focus, at least for this past week. It always seems something serious happens within a month post-partum, that completely throws me off course - last time it was my mum breaking her hip but as I always say, never a dull day in my life! Between that, a uni open day, a job interview and lots more on top, yep, no time to think too much!
On a final note - I am jaded by things in the surrogacy world of late, just lots of drama and fake people out there, not to mention the rise in scammers that have popped up lately. It's infuriating that people like me, with a genuine heart and love for it, are tainted when people with less scruples and no good intentions come along - surrogacy is hard enough to get out there and in a positive light and people and stories like those do none of us decent surrogates and IPs any favours. However, I still blow the surrogacy trumpet loud and proud regardless because when it's done right, it's life changing for all involved and nothing short of a miracle.
Overall, I'm feeling good mentally and just waiting on the physical side to catch up with that. No regrets, much love for my IFs and their beautiful son and feeling like I'm pretty awesome, even if I say so myself!
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